The Christmas gift (by Tara)

I got a Christmas gift from a friend this year. She of the most incredible and influential friends I have been blessed to know in my lifetime. I met her about 7 years ago at church after we had both relocated from different cities to Austin. We quickly became great friends, maybe because we had a lot in common. We worked together in a church calling where we held classes twice a month to teach young girls about setting and achieving goals, did crafts and service projects with them, and helped them build foundations for their lives based on Godly principles. We went to movies, had parties at her house, and our families enjoyed many gatherings together. She taught me how to scrapbook (even though I was a horrible student), she taught me amazing lessons about organization, she taught me sign language (and made me use it!), she let me drive her super fancy car when we'd go out, she taught me to live in the moment, to laugh (belly laugh) at myself, she listened intently anytime I needed to vent, and taught me to never take a moment of my health or my life for granted. 

I talk about her in the present tense, but it's only because I am reminiscing. She is still here and still very much my dear and trusted friend. 

We have so much in common. But the major difference is this. Jenny had a stroke almost 9 years ago that doctors said she would never recover from. In fact, they prepared her family for the fact that she would probably not make it through the night. With 3 children, an amazing husband, and a promising, full life ahead of her, my friend laid in a hospital bed trying to comprehend a diagnosis of "locked-in" syndrome. Her world was shattered. Her communication with the outside world had been reduced to blinking her eyes, even though inside she was still the same person she had been the days, weeks, months and years before. 

I didn't meet Jenny until a couple years after her stroke. And when I met her, it was hard to believe that she was a girl who so recently had only been able to communicate by blinking her eyes. Through partial use of one hand she could type on a keyboard, so email was her main mode of communication. We became friends as we emailed our thoughts and plans to each other. She could finger spell in American Sign Language so when we were together, that is how we would "talk". Eating and drinking was a chore for her, and she felt self conscious eating in front of others, but sometimes she would even let me eat with her, wipe her mouth when she needed it, help her put her foot back on her wheelchair when it would slip off, and eventually drive her a few places.

Over the time I've known her, I cannot believe the miracles that I have witnessed in her life. Her desire to regain that which was lost in that devastating stroke motivates and challenges her, but I have never seen anyone so beautifully rise to such an overwhelming challenge. A few years ago my husband was privileged to be the first from our family to hear her speak. He went to their house to visit and as they were all sitting there, out of nowhere my friend called him a "liar"! They laughed and laughed at her new skill and the word she chose to show it off! Since then she has refined her speaking skills and on her good days, I am able to understand what she has to say. In her own words, here is an excerpt from her own blog explaining things she can/can't do since her stroke:

THERE’S THE MORE OBVIOUS PHYSICAL THINGS:
1. UNABLE 2 WALK
2. UNABLE 2 SPEAK
3. PBA (NO CONTROL OF MY EMOTIONS)
4. MY LEFT SIDE IS “PARALYZED” (IT DOESN’T MOVE, BUT IT STILL FEELS—LOTS OF “FUN!”)
5. DOUBLE VISION
6. I MOVE & SIGN SLOW, & IF I FEEL FAST, I’M STILL SLOW! IF I GO FAST, MY EYES CAN’T FOCUS, & IF I TRY 2 FOCUS, I CAN GET MOTION SICKNESS.
7. I HAVE A MUCH SLOWER REACTION TIME. IN ORDER 2 GET ME READY 4 DRIVING MY POWER CHAIR, I PLAYED ARCADE GAMES, ESP. PAC-MAN. I REACTED SO SLOW WHEN THE GHOSTS CAME AFTER ME! IT WAS SO HARD!

HOWEVER, NOW I CAN BASICALLY
1. MOVE MY HEAD & RIGHT ARM
2. TYPE/HANDWRITE
3. STAND/WALK IF I’M HELD RIGHT, W/MY HUSBAND’S SUPPORT
4. KNEE BENDS ON MY TILT TABLE
5. PLAY PIANO & DO OTHER FINE MOTOR STUFF
6. I’M LEARNING 2 TALK
THIS LIST COULD GO ON…LOL

Last week at church my friend told me she had a Christmas gift for me, but it was in her car. I was busy running around and so she gave the gift to someone in my family to give to me. When I got home from church, there was a perfectly wrapped box with a gift tag attached sitting on the table waiting for me. 

I picked up the box and just held it for a very long time, tears trickling down my cheeks, overcome with feelings of love, admiration, and gratitude for my sweet friend. The tag simply said, "To: Tara From: Jenny", written in her own handwriting. Her own handwriting. 

How many gift tags have we all written this holiday season with no thought behind that miracle?  I hope as we celebrate our Savior's birth this week we can all remember the source of all gifts, and as we are given trials and weaknesses, they do not come without a way prepared to overcome. Our weaknesses, as well as our strengths, are given from Him who knows us, loves us, and never leaves us alone.

"And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me, for if they humble themselves before me and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them."-Ether 12:27